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Rant :: Stupid Umbrellas
  submitted on February 3, 2006, 6:19 PM


Where do people find these gi-normus umbrellas? It's drizzling outside, and you find all these morons with these umbrellas that are big enough to fit five people underneath. Umbrellas in general are pretty annoying to deal with, whether you're holding one or walking down the street past someone who has one. By their very nature, umbrellas are going to be wider in diameter than the person holding them (If they're not, then it's time to buy a new umbrella). So, when someone is walking on the sidewalk with their umbrella, they're automatically taking up more space than they normally would. You get a group of people walking around with umbrellas, and it suddenly becomes a huge task to walk on the sidewalk without getting poked in the face.

Then there's the other side of it; having to carry one around. First off, even when it's not raining, carrying an umbrella is just one more thing to lug around with you, and it's quite tedious. Then, when you actually do have to use it, you run into that problem I mentioned above, and now you're busy trying to make sure you don't hit people with you're umbrella instead of watching where you're going. 90% of the time it's just not worth the effort.

Of course, all this has little to do with the gi-normus umbrellas, which have absolutely no place in this world. These umbrellas are literally 4'-5' in diameter. And you see these tools walking around and all they've got is themselves under there. They inconvenience everyone in their area, not to mention looking like complete idiots for carrying around an umbrella three times bigger than normal. Whoever thought these things up needs to be taken out to a field and impaled on their worthless invention.

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